Ehhh Boys

I am freakin done with James! He has been such a jerks :(
I gave him another chance and things were great for awhile, but this week has been hell! He just gets pissed off over every stupid little thing and sometimes he just gets mad over nothing. And I hate that we live so far away too. Yesterday he got mad at me for who knows what reason, but he didn't talk to me all day or today. Then I seen on his facebook something about getting some ass and this girl that was hot. I mean seriously!?!?!?!?! Did he really think I would not see it?!?!?
I texted him and told him he was an ass but he won't text back, and more than likely he will expect me not to even be mad.
But I am done giving him chances. I don't wanna talk to him anymore, and it really hurts.
I don't know exactly what to do...
Ewww I am so sick of boys!!!!!!! 
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Hmmmm....(:

So,, I haven't posted anything in quite a while. Things have been pretty much the same and I have been really busy. Umm I am still living at my grandma's house. I am still talking to James. I have kinda decided that boy is crazy LOL. I swear one minute he is the sweetest, but if I say one thing wrong or make one little mistake he will flip out on me. But honestly I think that may be why I like him so much. Carson (friend) Told me that he liked me last weekend. He is way nice but a year younger than me. I mean that really ain't that much, but he just seems so young and idk why. I still really like Nathan! He is just so great. But I decided to get over him. And I did for awhile, but then we started talking again. I know me and him will probably never be anything more than friends, but I just can't get over him. Uh My mom is still pretty much the same. Lies, Lies, Lies. Last weekend she went with Ed (Bf? kinda) to Vegas. But then she says they are just friends. i wish so bad that her and my dad would hurry and get this divorce over with. My dad lately has been so controlling. He is being way too overprotective and me and him have done nothing but argue. I hate fighting with my parents so much. I guess everybody thinks they know the whole story with my parents though. Sometimes I hate living in a small town where rumors spread like crazy and everybody knows everything. So Jake (friend that likes me, lives 30 minutes away) is talking to me lots again. He wanted to see me this weekend for Valentines, but he had to go visit his mom. Quincy (Jake's relative) is dating my aunt Sara, so Jake said he was gonna give my Valentines present to him to give to me, so I could get it on valentines. I am kinda excited, but at the same time I wish he would not have got me anything. Haha I swear I have got too many boys in my life. Plus Leighton (boy who is friends with Jake) I think likes me too. He is way hot!! (: So idk??? I guess I will just have to wait and see how things play out.
<3..Courtney(:

Hmmmm

I have had a great past couple day(: Finally doin good again. I have kinda started to give James another chance but I still ain't sure. Friday night was kinda fun. I hung out with Tayson, Zach, and Haegen. I had a good time, but Haegen was all over me and being really perverted as always. Saturday I went to the wrestling tournament with Lauren (friend) all day. We went mud bogging that night was rode around it was really fun. Sunday I went with Lauren and Shilo (friends and Lauren's bf) to the mountains. It was way cold but we had tons of fun(:
Yesterday I went to Cedar and then to Lauren's surprise birthday party. It was fun. I decided not to text James yesterday to see if he would text me, and sure enough he did. I told him I have noticed how things had changed since we went out the first time and he sent me this text:
Your still my baby girl and I love you with all my heart. Your the most beautiful girl in the world, and I am sorry if I haven't showed it, I have been stressed about school.
I was really happy to hear him say that, but then today he put on his facebook status that he was going to hang out with Sarah (girl I don't know) I texted him and he said it was his cousin, but from the status that's not what it seemed like. I don't know if I should believe him because he also told me Michelle was like a sis to him and he would never date him, and next thing I knew he broke up with me and started going out with her just days later.
If he does that again to me, I will never give him another chance. I am tired of getting hurt by boys, and it is kinda my fault cause I always seem to fall for the boys that I know are going to hurt me. Jake (boy who likes me) had also been texting me a lot this week. He is really sweet(:
I found out that Aaron (ex and boy I think I loved) moved to Oaklahoma :( I was kinda sad when I found that out, even though I have not talked to him for quite awhile. Hmmm I really just wanna know if James is lying or not.
I am officially excited for this summer(: Thomas (ex and really good friend who moved) is coming down to visit. I am way excited! He told me he still likes me and we have made plans for this summer! I also told him that I totally regretted braking up with him, and I did it because Shilo (my ex) told me that he didn't really like me. I really wished he hadn't of moved and that we were still together. But I guess we can figure all that out over the summer(:

Thats about it (:
<3...Courtney

What a mess!

Life totally sucks right now! I just had to move back up to my grandma's cause of my parents fighting. I went to get my stuff and my mom was pissed, she called the cops and now it's just one big drama mess! On top of all that I'm not feeling very well. I hate having a period, worse time of the month!!! And stress ain't helping it.
James got dumped though and me and him kinda started talking again. I still kinda like Nathan but I'm starting to get over him, considering I still have not found out how he feels about me. Saturday night I texted Shilo (Ex bf who my dad does not like) for a while. I forgot to delete my texts and my dad read them while I was sleeping. I am so over shilo and I only wanna be friends with him, but my dad thinks I am gonna get back together with him. He says he is going to move but honestly I don't want him too :(
Me and Thomas are talking again, and he says he wished he wouldn't of have to move. I miss him so much! He is planning on coming down this summer and spending some times with me :) I can't wait! I totally regret braking up with him last year, and when I told him that tonight he said he never quit liking me anyways. I wish he could just move back
Well thats all for the moment
Peace
<3//Courtney..

1/5/2010

I have not been on for a few days but everything is pretty much the same. Ummm my dad went and seen a lawyer today about him divorcing my mom. I don't really know much info on that but, I am glad he finally did something. So James and I have been talking a little bit but not much, I'm not very happy with him, he is a total player I have decided. Right after I had fell asleep Sunday night he called at 11:30 to see if I was awake cause he wanted me to text him. I ended up texting him for about an hour. I could not sleep after that, and ended up falling asleep at about 1:30. School the next day was exhausting. I was on a sugar high all day. I swear all I ate was sugar. About 7:30 it started to wear off and I had a killer headache. At 11 I crashed. Today I seen a comment James had put on one of my pics on facebook a few weeks after we broke up. It said god I made a mistake. I texted him and told him I seen it, and he said yeah I was talking about us braking up and I said yeah I figured. But honestly I pretty much told him that I would give him another chance (notta clue why) and he ain't doin nothing about it. Yesterday he told me he loves me. But really if he did he would not still be with Michelle. He is totally playin both of us, I think.
<3//Courtney

Confused!!!

So last night after tossing and turning for a hour I finally fell asleep, and what do ya know James (an ex I talked about before) calls at 1 in the morning. I answered the phone and he just called to say hi then we hung up. After that it took forever for me to fall back asleep. It just seems like he don't want me to move on, but he don't wanna be with me that bad. If he was really sorry for hurting me like he did, then he would dump his girlfriend and do everything in his power to get me back right? I know he is just playing me and I have got to move on. And I really like one guy and I kinda like a few others. It just seems like every time I stop talking to James and I'm doing good he calls or texts me. He is really confusing, but I have decided that most boys are confusing.
Ohh Nathan is back in town from Florida :) I have not got to see him yet, but I am hoping to find out how he feels about me soon! I have to go back to school tomorrow so I will get to see him then. I was hoping he would come to the basketball game last night but he didn't, and I ended up having to work so it was okay. I honestly don't know what to do. Plus on top of all that I'm not really talking to my mom considering everything she has done. She does not understand why I'm mad though.
That's all for the moment(: PEACE!
<3//Courtney

(no subject)

So, I had a pretty good night watching movies with Tayson, Zach, Calie, and Carly. But now I am super confused! Tayson told me Christmas Eve that he still liked me, and then tonight I kinda started to like him again too and so I asked him if he meant it and he said he don't know. That he does but he wants to be single. Why do me and him do this all the time?? He likes me and I don't like him, then I start to like him again and he stops liking me, so I get over him and he starts liking me again. It's so stupid. I have always regretted dumping him like I did, and ever since I did two years ago nothing has been the same between us. I was so stupid for hurting him like that, and at times I kinda wish he would give me another chance. No matter what me and him will be friends, we have been since we were little and we promised we would always be there for each other. I just hope we both keep that promise! I don't know what will happen, and I still do like Nathan so much. I just can't wait for him to get back from Florida, so I can figure out how he feels about me. So I honestly think I'm done with James forever, I mean I can't promise but I'm sick of him being an ass, so we are not talking till he changes. I honestly am so confused! I just wish I could find a boy that treats me right, likes me, and I like him back, I thought I had found that boy when I dated Aaron. But I was sadly wrong. He just ended up standing me up, then breaking my heart on Halloween. Haha, I just really need to figure some things out!!!!
<3//Courtney

New Year!

So, It's officially 2010 :) I'm gonna try my hardest to make this one better than last!
I'm hoping tonight goes the way I want it to, and I have some fun. I'm gonna hang with Tayson, Zach, Nia, Calie, and maybe Makell. Just chill and watch some movies I guess.
Ben just told me he still likes me. The problem is, I already know I will never like him as more than a friend. I hate telling him that though :(
Ohhh, and my mom called. I told her I heard her conversation. She denied it all. She was supposed to be coming home today, but now she ain't coming home till tomorrow. Haha big surprise there!
I am just so sick of being in the middle of all the drama I guess. No matter what I do, I always end up in it some how weather it's, family, friends, or boys! When I talked to my dad he said they were gonna get a divorce for sure. Again now I'm just waiting for that to really happen. We talked about how, when they got a divorce I would probably have to meet Ed. I know he is probably a nice guy but after all this and him still being with my mom, knowing she is married, I'm not sure if I will ever really like him. I just think that would be really weird having him as a step dad, and having to spend holidays with them. I'm ready for a change though. All this shit has gotta stop soon!
I guess that's all ferr now.
Here's to the future, cause I'm done with the past :)
<3//COURTNEY

New Years Eve!

So I was having a pretty good New Years Eve until my mom's phone called me on accident. She is supposed to be up North with Sarah (one of her friends) but when I answered I could hear a man's voice. I'm pretty sure it was Ed (one of the guys she has an affair with) Me and one of my friends sat on the phone and listened to them for about 40 minutes. I could not really tell what they were saying but every once in awhile I could. I recorded some of the conversations and I plan to tell my dad when he gets home. This whole thing does not really surprise me, I mean I figured she was with him, but I just did not expect that call. Other than that I have had a pretty good night. I baked a cake and well it tasted good but it did not work out the way I wanted to lol. Me and Makell (one of my friends) watched the Hangover, I have seen it already and it's still so funny :) After that we watched Paranormal Activity. Holy Shit that is one trippy movie!!! We were both sooo damn scared. Well that's all so far, for this night. I am ready for the New Year, and hope 2010 will be better than 2009 :)
<3//Courtney

P.S.
I have not talked to Nathan much, And I think maybe I will give up on him.
Ohh and I don't think me and James are gonna give it another shot. I have not talked to him today
and yesterday he kinda started being a jerk again! (ooooo shocker!)